Sunday, June 08, 2008

Slender Splender!

Say it ain't so.

I apologize in advance to all you Hoosiers out there. Really, I do. But all I can say is that if you can't make quality wine in Indiana (come on, admit it, it's tough) then at least keep it real.

Chateau Thomas Winery in Plainfield, Indiana is introducing -- and I quote -- "the World's ONLY artificially sweetened wine." It's called Slender because (wait for it...) it has "no sugar, no carbs, no fats, no aftertaste, no KIDDING".

What it does have is three "flavors", including red, rose, and blush, and a $9.99 price tag. According to INDYSTAR.COM the wine is now sweetened with a naturally occurring sugar alcohol whereas previous versions were sweetened with Splenda. The Chateau Thomas website, however, still sites Splenda as the key to this wine's sweetness.

Okay, okay, so they are supposedly going to
donate 50 cents to the American Diabetes Association for every case sold. That's nice and everything but somehow I envision the wine (see accompanying picture) being sipped by rail thing, artificially enhanced women kvetching by the pool. Does one sit by the pool in Indiana? Does one Kvetch? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that I don't want anything to do with Slender (the wine, not the body type). ;)

If you want to get some of yours, visit Chateau Thomas and order it up. Let me know how it is, will you? Cheers!


  1. Lol yes, as a matter of fact, in the summer we Hoosiers do sit by the pool. Some of the women that do so have fake breasts, drink awful wine, and do kvetch. My parents have been patrons of Chateau Thomas Winery since moving to Plainfield, and being their daughter, I've had many oppertunities to sample their brand of wine when coming home to visit the folks. The wine is, quite surprisingly, very good, for the most part I imagine because their grape fields are in Napa.

    However, the red Slender stuff (I will not call it wine) is absolutely terrible. I haven't tried the others, and I have no intention of doing so.

  2. Jean, thanks for the first-hand report -- Cheers!

  3. I just bought a bottle of the Slender Blush. It's OK. But, it has 12% alcohol, so it has to have carbs and calories. Alcohol raises blood sugar, so diabetics need to beware. Since it is artifically sweetened, it probably doesn't have as many calories as regular wine. But, this is not the same as drinking a diet soda.

  4. Yes, it does have carbs if you want to count all carbs, but the only carbs in this are the sugar alcohol which are not metabolized like regular sugar would be.

  5. For more information about slender wine visit

  6. are these wines available for purchase anywhere on the internet? i would like to sample a case of the different types. thanks.

  7. A response from Slender Wines to Anonymous and Bobby: Slender does NOT have any carbs or sugar!! Perhaps you should go back a read your biochemistry books again. Alcohol is not a carbohydrate, it is not metabolized like a carb, and doesn't adversely affect insulin levels except to lower them some.
    Post not falsehoods!